Starting a Long Distance Relationship

Ever heard of this phrase, love knows no distance? Or that absence makes the heart grow fonder? I am not going to sugarcoat this. It is no secret that maintaining a relationship requires a lot of effort and dedication, so when it comes to being away from each other for a hundred or thousand miles and for a period of time, trust me, it is definitely not easy.

Even so, that should not stop anyone from making this work. According to a 2013 study by researchers from Cornell University and City University of Hong Kong, it was found that long-distance relationship couples felt more intimate with each other compared to geographically close couples, as they disclosed more about themselves across the various interpersonal media.

STARTING A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP

Before you jump into a long distance relationship and get separated for miles, with different time zones, here are some things you should note.

  1. Physical Intimacy Is More Important Than You Think
    Hugs are great. After a while, you start to realise that it is not possible to have face to face communication everytime. Physical affection gets lost in the transition. Couples in long distance relationship rely on technology for communication, primarily, voice calls, text, and sometimes video/Skype chats. You can’t see their body language, you can’t feel them, and there will be a lack of emotional connection, as much as you missed them. You don’t get a sense of the actual relationship until you’re there in person where the real intimacy exists.
  2. Different or Lack of Common Topics
    The different types of work, friends, culture etc can all add up to the differences in your communication. After a while, it may get boring, mundane, or simply repetitive. Hence, there is a need to agree on the communication (schedule?) and have some interesting activities, like a date night together or something naughty!
  3. Time Zones Screw Things Up
    Things get really tough when you are on different time zones, and it happens for a period of time where my morning is his night and that makes it difficult to fix an “online” date sometimes. Try to set a schedule and make an effort to engage each other for a short call or a date once in a while. I did meal dates with my guy (me having lunch and him having late dinner) and it was one of the best virtual dates I have ever had.
  4. Either One Of You Will Spend A Lot More Time With Others
    We are all social people so chances of your partner or yourself hanging out with other friends or new mates are common. Find your own activities, fill your time with meaningful things. Engage in some sports, do some voluntary, go for a party, drinks…

Finally, have trust in each other. When you are both apart, it is easy to idealize and romanticize each other. It takes a lot of hard work and not everyone will pull it off, but it is possible.