I’ve talked to many people who find their relationships being tested. Someone gets a job out of town, gets accepted to an out of state school or family moves away and the question arises: Should we stay together?
The decision of whether or not to be in a long distance relationship is a big one. It definitely requires discussion between partners. It may not work for every couple, but when asked if long distance relationships are a good idea or if they are worth it, my answer is yes.
My answer comes from the personal experience of being in a long distance relationship over the last two years. I had been with my boyfriend for one year before he got a scholarship to an out of state university to finish his last two years of college playing football and going to school. We had a long discussion if turning long distance was a good idea and it was mutual that being together was better than being apart.
What seemed like what was going to be the longest two years of my life apart from each other is now coming to a close as he is coming back home to stay. Many people ask me how our relationship can work and it can, but it takes work.
My first piece of advice is if both partners are not completely desiring to make it work long distance then it is not going to last. Long distance relationships are all about commitment. It takes a great deal of commitment to make a relationship work when a couple is together, but it is a whole new level when they are a thousand miles away like my boyfriend was.
The distance can certainly be intimidating as it was for me with my boyfriend being 1,000 miles away. However, with technology, those miles can feel much shorter. FaceTime, texting and calling make it so much easier to feel like the relationship is close. It is like having your partner always with you because they are a call away.
This leads into my next piece of advice which simply is that it only can work with good communication. Letting your partner know what’s going on in your world and how you are feeling is key to making the relationship last. As I reflect on my own long distance experience I don’t think there was one night where we did not FaceTime to at least see each other and catch up.
Lastly, it’s important to know to go into it that it’s going to take effort like any relationship does, but especially for long distance. It takes effort to keep in touch and stay connected with each other’s lives with busy schedules. Again, that’s where technology comes in very handy.
I think it definitely matures a relationship and if a relationship can last the long distance, then it can withstand just about anything. The initial sadness gets better with time and I do think it brings the two partners closer together simply because the time together in person is more appreciated. Absence makes the heart grow fonder is a true statement. I suggest when the long distance relationship ends and you and your partner come back together you hold onto them. That’s definitely what I plan to do.